Turbo
Fabergé (1980)

Fabergé Turbo, "a very new fragrance for men," was launched in 1982 with a comically machismo-laden ad campaign. The English-language slogan was "Turbo: Turn it on!"–intoned on TV in a forced gravelly voice with a synth backdrop cribbed from Vangelis' "Blade Runner" soundtrack–while in France, they pitched it as "La F1 de l'eau de toilette." There was even a "$130,000 Supercharged Sweepstakes" with prizes that ranged from sports cars and motorcycles to cameras, audio system, and Apple II computers. It didn't take: officially discontinued in 1984, ad presence had virtually vanished by mid-1983, with retailers lamenting anemic sales in trade publications.

Of course, none of that tells you what it smells like. Other perfume sites state the pyramid as:

Top: lavender, rosemary, cumin, anise, bergamot, petitgrain
Heart: cedar, pepper, marjoram, geranium, cloves, fern, patchouli
Base: oakmoss, musk, ambergris, leather, tonka

Of the long list of herbs and spices, I pick up more anise than anything else, though even that is subdued. The dominant scents are geranium and patchouli with a light citrus glaze, the base providing warmth and roundness rather than distinct notes. (Leather, really? Not to my nose.) Nominally an aromatic fougère, it smells like it would rather be a chypre, if only it had some labdanum to its name.

None of this is a complaint. Turbo smells quite good, as do most Fabergé fragrances of the era. I suspect what killed it was the ad campaign, both because it was mismatched to the product and lame in and of itself. If you can get past the cheap, dated graphics that make the cologne look like a motor oil additive, and find it at the modest price an old drugstore flop merits, Turbo is a charmer.