Bade'E Al Oud
Lattafa (2020)

I got hold of a bottle of this second hand from someone who said they couldn't get on with it - and I too couldn't get on with it. So it's sat there for the last 7 months while I've been training my nose and learning perfumery and hoping my nose has "levelled up" with my love of Oud and complex structures.

No.

First sprays - this hit my nose like an onslaught of patchouli and medicinal iodine. It's very "minty" with a sharp metallic bite.

5 - 10 minutes in. I actually went anosmic to it.

10-30 minutes. My nasal tissues feel like they've swollen and I feel very congested nasally. I keep getting sliced by saffron and smacked around the face with patchouli. This is quite an event. I'm now wondering IF this is going to change gears on me, and turn into something more pleasant, because currently I'm "lying back and thinking of England" nasally.

2 hours in. Reassembly hasn't happened - I don't think there was even an orderly assembly to reassemble. This is a mobbing. The Saffron hasn't softened, the oud hasn't rounded, there is no amber warmth emerging and the patchouli needs an ASBO. It's cloying and medicinal. This feels like the perfume equivalent of being inside Venom from Spiderman. This is the kind of fragrance that I would only wear if I wanted to be pungently offensive in public, angry with myself and with a headache. It reminds me of: “hospital corridors”, “burnt wires”, “medicinal cabinet” & “chemical mint”.

5 hours in: Trigeminal irritation response - my nose is still closing and feels swollen as my body is screaming "reduce exposure immediately!". And now I need to burn my clothing.

Final verdict: FUCK NO!

I love this strange fragrance: sweet saffron and tennis-shoe rubber. A very smooth, westernized oud. Packaging is high quality, especially for this price. Moderate sillage; incredible longevity. An 8-hour-old spray is currently poking it's head through Orto Parisi Bergamask, which is no small feat. I ordered a full bottle after one sample.

My father wears this, which surprises me, because his favorite perfumes are fresh, woody-citrusy vetivers – think Timbuktu, Terre d’Hermès, Eau Sauvage, and Quercus. I asked him about it, and he said that he only wears it at night when watching TV, so that he is not disturbing anyone but himself. ‘It’s a bit loud, alright,’ he admitted sheepishly. A bit loud? The Krakatoa Eruption was probably quieter. It is one of those perfumes that I have difficulty perceiving individual notes, obscured as they are by a noxious cloud of greyish, fuzzy Cilit Bang-like chemicals that bloom suddenly and violently, like the blast wave of an atomic bomb. People say they can smell leather, oud, and patchouli in this – I cannot. All I smell is harsh.

A review for Bade'e Al Oud Honor and Glory, since it's not in the directory:

A garish, synthetic-smelling nightmare of a fragrance that pairs a strung-out pineapple note over a depressingly Ambroxinated amber for a result that would be obnoxious in an Axe spray, let alone a personal fragrance. It brays sporty blue masculine in big neon letters, even though the billing is all crème brulée and lush, tropical, juicy pineapple. And you know, I am not sure what it was about that description that made it sound so attractive to me in the first place. Possibly the worst thing you could find at the bottom of a bowl of crème brulée are chunks of pineapple. I mean, have you seen what too much pineapple does to your tongue? Just imagine what it will do to the soft, wobbly custard. Curdle city, baby,

Anyway, all I can smell is the dreadful screech of whatever woody amber they have stuffed into this thing, but I am sure that the people who hate this scent will blame it for being ‘too spicy’. Spicy, my ass. Spice is pleasantly nose-tickling, even at its most aromatic or fiery (chili, black pepper) and cannot be held responsible for the almost physically painful nostril sand-blasting effect of nasty, loud aromachemicals.

Someone, somewhere will bleat plaintively, but what about the turmeric? To which I say, what about the turmeric? Turmeric is the face flannel of Spices. Sure, it can boast of its brilliant ochre dyeing properties and its anti-inflammatory effects, but let’s get real, sensory-wise, it smells like licking the surface of your child’s first attempt at an un-Kilned bowl at a pottery class. It’s an off-brand saffron, or an even cheaper henna, with a dusty, astringent medicine feel. It is not going to set your tongue or nose on fire. No, that’ll be the Amberwood or whatever aromachemical accounts for Honor and Glory’s special flavor of screech. I see this scent clearly, and unfortunately, it is ug-leeee.

It was nice for 15 minutes, then it dried down to generic cheap smelling cologne. Not worth the price imo.

An excellent clone of Oud for Greatness for 1/10th the price. It projects well and lasts forever, so definitely go easy on the sprays. I wouldn't do more than 2 and 1 spray will probably enough for most situations. Perfect for fall and winter.