Dark Rum
Malin + Goetz (2013)

I know it's not in the listed notes but I definitely get coconut here, and it smells weirdly like sniffing someone's hair. As in, there's shampoo but there is also a scalp smell. Like a slight bitterness of skin/ sebum. This is not pleasant. It's not terrible either, but it smells synthetic and not like dark rum. Apparently they make them for layering but I am not a fan of that- fragrances should be well crafted and fully formed. This is very overpriced for the quality.

A vile, synthetic stew that smells like boozy laundry detergent.

Neutral reviews are some of my least favorite because it means I didn't get a strong enough reaction from a fragrance to feel one way or the other about it, and the fact that I seemingly have to write more and more of them as time goes on is a bit alarming in itself as an unintentional commentary on the state of mainstream perfume. Malin + Goetz (Malin plus Goetz or Malin and Goetz anyone?) is another gray-area niche house that has the distribution footprint of a smaller designer brand and the pricing of a higher-end designer/entry-level niche perfumer but delivers style somewhere between The Body Shop and Le Labo. There seems to be a lot of those cropping up in the wake of the "niche boom" that has been slowly putting the squeeze on overly-regulated and under-creative designer perfumes ever-maximized further for cost/benefit for untenable profit growth curves in our late-stage Capitalist market, but I digress. This is another house I could have done just fine not knowing about, but because I walk past it every time I enter a Nordstrom, I found it necessary to at least take one sniff. Dark Rum (2013) seems to be the best of the bunch, in that it smells the least like a rejected Le Labo or Byredo formula, but still contains the same linearity or single-purposefulness of concept.

First thing's first, Dark Rum neither smells dark nor like rum to my nose, and as someone who used to imbibe in stuff like Kraken spiced rum or Bacardi Oakheart, I can tell you that darker rums have no correlation in smell or tone to this perfume. Secondly, the top notes seem more like base notes as they never let go of the accord, and you're going to get a strong bergamot/plum tandem from start to finish, so I hope you enjoy that. This opening does soften up a little bit, but the very synthetic "car freshener" plum note warms up a bit more with some fashion of leather accord, but more like that "nu-leather" suede-like note a lot of designers use, eventually ending in patchouli and ambroxan. The singular warm plum over patchouli accord here feels pretty much like a feminine-market fruitchouli at times, but the slightly dry effect of the chemical leather accord makes Dark Rum tolerable as a unisex fragrance. Wear time for Dark Rum is actually really admirable if you enjoy the accord, and it will last all day with moderate to strong sillage, good projection, and will power through almost any weather, so performance is not an issue. If you dig something like this, I also suggest pairing it up with the scented candle and skincare line since Malin + Goetz are a bit like a bourgeois Bath & Body Works in that all their products synergize along a common olfactive theme.

It should also be mentioned that Dark Rum is effectively the eau de parfum variant of the original discontinued Rum Tonic (2009) eau de toilette, with no discernible changes other than strength. There is also an even more concentrated perfume oil roll-on as well, for something more akin to the density of an attar or extrait wearing experience, except minus the layered dry down. The house claims it uses all naturals, which makes me a bit mad, because one sniff betrays that claim immediately, as this smells almost completely like something made by Glade to scent a candle or fill a diffuser than something worn by a person. This makes sense to me given the fact that Malin + Goetz produces products like that, but don't try to "niche swindle" me with hollow claims when anyone with a semi-functional nose can tell are false. With that having been said, I don't completely hate Dark Rum, but there is little else to be said about it besides it smells strongly of plums and leather. I'm personally going to reach for other perfumes with more development if I want that kind of smell, but I can see someone falling in love with the simplicity of Malin + Goetz Dark Rum. Sampling this should be easy but be warned: most salespersons in department stores handling this brand get spiffs for selling it (bonuses to commission), so they get pushy when you start sniffing! Neutral.

I have mixed feelings about this fragrance. Overall its a very fresh and complimented fragrance. But I don't get a lot of complexity with it. Its opening is so soapy and floral, and it takes 2 hours for any of the boozy rum notes to come through on my skin. I don't get much of any amber until the very end. Overall it is worth checking out. But I wasn't wowed by it/

I really like Malin + Goetz's Rum smell - I've gone through a couple of their rum candles and also really like the shower gel. Unfortunately, the formula is almost all topnotes, meant to smell good quickly without hanging around, so it just doesn't translate that well into a proper perfume.

So what does it smell like? It's a sort of sweet brown boozy smell mixed with citrus and pineapple. Given about a half an hour, a weird sort of wet cardboard tobacco smell takes over, which I really don't like. All things considered, the great topnotes are clearly inspired by L'Artisan's Ananas Fizz, which I think I is a better perfume overall, so I'd just go with that.